Friday, July 19, 2019

Road Tripping

I’ve never been much of a road trip kind a girl. Growing up Hechtman proved to cement that sentiment as my dad professed that driving down to Wrigley Field or Soldier Field
constituted not only good ole family time but a road trip for sure! Who could argue, before he decided to splurge for parking passes it felt like we were driving for days! To make matters worse, we had to listen to the pregame show on AM something or other and the conversation was down to a soft whisper.
Truth be told, we did spend time road tripping one year, driving all the way to Rockford to Wagon Wheel Resort. It was an epic trip which ended with me having roughly 7 stitches under my chin. Apparently; we didn’t have goggles for me to see when to start reaching my arms under the water in the pool. I looked up a little too late
I’ve taken two road trips in less than two weeks; my back is sore and neck……well that’s another story.
We headed out to IU/Bloomington for orientation not even a week and a half ago. I asked Jay to drive, as my second road trip was going to be solo and after the please and thank you and thank you again, he picked us up and we headed for a quick bite before going on the road. With music selections of the Grateful Dead, Phish and Pearl Jam, a delish lunch at Rhapsody, we were on our way. Noah was uncomfortably settled and laying down in the back seat with a pillow and headphones.
Not easy for this 18-year-old kid tipping 6’0”/6’1” recovering from ACL surgery, but he’ll manage. We made it in time to enjoy a great meal and a little music at Crazy Horse. The ride back was good, we bypassed the city for 294, listened to some good music and were thrilled to get out of the car.
My next road trip would come less than 72 hours later, as I repacked and got on the road this past Friday heading up to Minocqua for visiting weekend.
Road tripping is not for the faint of heart. If I’m alone, is it really considered a road trip or is it just me in the car for 5 hours listening to music while driving fast enough to qualify for Nascar?
I’m not a book’s on tape person. During the workweek I listen to talk radio, Howard Stern and music for the short drive. When I’m “road tripping”, I love to play music. I have a very diverse musical pallet, and love increasing the volume with the windows and sunroof open. It’s the next best thing to a good therapy session and easy to have a good cry while driving well over the speed limit.
The drive up was good, I mean I’d rather be in the dentist chair, but you know what I mean.
Five hours in the car with no stopping (I had cut up peppers, cucumber and a few hard-boiled eggs already peeled!) is long. I do my best to gaze at the display as infrequently as possible and am always surprised by how much time has passed.
I don’t like chatting much on the phone and really enjoy my alone time in the car. Five hours really did seem to fly by, and to be honest, it was about 4 hours and 45 minutes. Might have been my best time yet😊
I started thinking about when my older brother Jeffrey went to college. He went to Cornell his freshman year. It was a campus I wish I had had the opportunity to see in person. School was starting for me & Jimmy so we couldn’t tag along for a free trip. Maybe school wasn't started for us, but whatever the case was we certainly weren't invited! I believe my Grandma Syl was staying with us. Actually; that was better than a free trip because she basically let us do whatever we wanted.
My parents were taking Jeffrey. Amms Limousine Service was picking them up and I saw the black car pull into the driveway.
Time to go.
I was in my bedroom, looking through my white mini-blinds and I started to cry. To this day, I don’t remember if I went downstairs to say goodbye however I can’t imagine that I wouldn’t want to give my brother a hug goodbye. Let’s just say for argument sake that I didn’t. It was so upsetting to me that he was leaving. Even though we experienced our own unique sibling rivalry growing up, I couldn’t believe this was happening.
We were the original Hechtman 5 + J.J. (our dog). We were the Jay, Judy, Jeffrey, Jennifer, Jimmy and J.J. We all had blue eyes except for our dog, remember???
Somehow, I hadn’t prepared for this goodbye. I hadn’t prepared for Jeffrey not being around anymore. I still needed him, my big brother. I knew Jimmy was happy he wouldn’t have to witness our insane fighting anymore. I knew our parents were thrilled we had outgrown that behavior for something more “mature”. I knew J.J. was for sure going to miss him. No longer would there be four bedrooms to visit every night. There was a rule in our house which was made soon after we adopted her from the Lambs Farm. We had to leave our doors open just enough so J.J. could come in and visit each and every night. You know we hardly followed that rule and got woken up numerous times by J.J. as she scratched the inside of our doors to get out.
She knew the rules. She also knew that she would have one less room to visit.
I’m preparing for another goodbye soon as another road trip is on the horizon. It’s time for Noah to move on, the world at his feet. An opportunity awaits on the gorgeous campus of Bloomington, IN. How are we here? I remember the day he was born…just like it was yesterday. He was just learning to crawl.
Life seems to go by so much faster these days……this year has been no different. Life seems to go as fast if not faster than I was driving this past weekend. We see so many people writing how time goes by “in the blink of an eye”, or “time flies”. I find myself being more aware of how fast time goes by when I think about how long my dad has been gone. It’ll be three years this August 16th.
I know this goodbye will be the same but much different than when I was looking out of my bedroom window many years ago. It’ll be the same because it means that nothing will ever be the same. No more Hechtman 5+1.
Time for me to hold onto the hugs, time for me to remind myself that my mothering isn’t over it’s just changing. Time for me to tell him again how much I love him; how much I believe in him and how I will always be there for him. I want him to know how much he is loved and that he matters. Finally, I want him to know I’ll always be a phone call away…….
I think he knows, at least I hope he does.
See you on the road my friends,
Xoxo, Jennifer

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